What if you never told another lie in your life? Did you ever wonder whether the whole truth would be liberating or if raw honesty would cause too much conflict?
I was absolutely intrigued as I read this article by A.J. Jacobs. Jacobs interviews Brad Blanton, the father of the Radical Honesty movement. The five-page article had me sitting on the edge of my seat as Jacobs attempted to live the Radical Honesty lifestyle as part of the writing assignment.
As I expected, telling the whole truth all the time tends to spark conflict with those on the receiving end. But Jacobs also experienced a strange liberation that also seemed to liberate those he was honest with:
"That's one thing I've noticed: When I am radically honest, people become radically honest themselves. I feel my resentment fade away. I like this guy. We have a good meeting."
Jacobs even noticed an improvement in the quality of communication between him and his wife.
Blanton, the father of the Radical Honesty movement, also offers an interesting myth-busting reality: Lying to show compassion is a falsehood. It's cruel to spare feelings by lying. Truth is the true compassion.
Take time to read this interesting article. After reading, I started to ponder through the times I wasn't genuine - always in an effort to "spare somebody else's feelings." I started to see what Blanton is teaching. We only spare our own feelings and avoid the potential for conflict. There's no selfless compassion in that at all.
I always wave my proud flag, "I'm not a liar." For some reason, I only categorize lying as the malicious spread of mis-information or an effort to concoct a story. But what about the times I called myself adding joy to somebody's day by offering something that wasn't totally genuine? Or how about the time I let a woman walk away with toilet paper on her shoe so I wouldn't embarrass her?
My sweetheart V lives somewhere close to the Radical Honesty movement. He often ends some of his statements with, "the average person wouldn't even tell the truth about that, but I love you and you should know." And do you know what? Not only do I feel liberated in my ability to share my most raw feelings with him, but we are the best of inseparable friends. I'm starting to see the trend here. Truth is truly compassion.
Could you live in the zone of Radical Honesty? I'm not sure if I could go that far. Do the results reported in the article make you want to try?
Now I'm off to purchase a Brad Blanton book.