New Year's Resolutions: What the Heck are You Trying to Resolve?

From Merriam-Webster Online:
res-o-lu-tion 3a: something that is resolved (made a resolution to mend my ways)
re-solve 4a: to deal with successfully : clear up (resolve doubts) (resolve a dispute) b: to find an answer to c: to make clear or understandable

If we had a moment of
Radical Honesty while stumbling through our list of Resolutions, we'd crumble under the weight of our own bull-shnit. Why? Because a real "resolution" requires a total deconstruction of the original fluff. Take these typical resolutions, which appear on the Top Ten New Year's Resolutions:

Work Out/Lose Weight
As far as New Year's Resolutions go, this is probably the King of the Hill. Although it sounds great on paper, what does it "resolve?" A true resolution with weight loss in mind would deconstruct the problem into smaller and meaningful bits.

Why do you weigh a metric ton? What excuses did you make all year (and all ten years prior) to avoid losing weight? Was it hamburgers or the stress of a lousy marriage? What are you willing to do about those things to make exercise and weight loss work for you?

Spend More Time with the Family
Well why can't you be found within 10 square miles of them now? Why do you run from them like The Fugutive? Do you work too much? If so, why are you a workaholic? Is it fear of being poor or you can't stand the noise associated with family time? What are you willing to do about those things  to make family time work? 

Quit Smoking
Why do you always look like your head's on fire? Are you stressed or self medicating another issue? What are you willing to do about those things  to help you quit smoking?

I think you get the point.

So this year, my New Year's Resolutions come in the form of a categorized 5-Year plan, broken into annual chunks, that deconstruct my goals through meaningful analysis - much like the Frugal Zeitgeist shares here. And I just love Frugal Z for giving me one word to keep my goals on track: S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-constrained).

To add some meat to this exercise, I want to complete one of the best deconstruction exercises I've seen in a while: The Great Assessment courtesy of Ladylee. So what that she stole it from somebody else. At least they're friends, and she gave some throwback credits in her post.

Anyway, The Great Assessment is really a batch of simple questions that don't have simple answers. In fact, some may take days to answer - either because you're not ready to be honest or because you never considered the issues. If you avoid the answers that "sound good" or "reflect who you want to be as opposed to who you really are," I conclude that some r-e-a-l resolutions are coming your way.

I may share my answers on this blog to make myself accountable for the hard work of deconstructing issues with honesty. I suspect some will be too private for y'alls virgin eyes. Without further ado, here is the list of questions:

:: Who are you?

:: Do you like who you are?

:: Who do you want to be, what is it that you must change?

:: What do you stand for?

:: What is your passion?

:: Who are the people that you love?
:: Why?

:: Do the people you love, love you?
:: Why/why not?

:: When people know you, do they really know you?

:: Is the place that you rest your head, your “home”?
:: If not where is “home” and do you want to be there?
:: If so, why are you not there?

:: When you wake up, do you go to the job that you really want to do?
:: If not, what are you doing to change that?

:: Is your family close to your heart?
:: If not why?

:: Who do you love?

:: Can you love them better?

:: If you can love them better, why don’t you?

:: Do they love you?

:: Can they love you better?

:: What do you want?

:: How will you get it?

:: What is important to you?

:: Who do you fight with?
:: Why do you fight with them?

:: What do you need?
:: What do you want?
:: Why don't you have it?

:: Are you happy or are you sad?
:: Why?

:: Are you smiling or are you crying?
:: Why?

:: What will make you better tomorrow than you are today?

I wish you a Very Merry Christmas and a
Productive and Prosperous New Year, complete with real resolutions that guide you along the way.

Comments

[Kit (Keep It Trill)]

Gee-zus, those were good questions! I particularly liked:

When people know you, do they really know you?

Liked this because most functional adults spend half of their waking hours five days a week at work, where if you're really yourself and share your thoughts and feelings, you might have a big problem. This covers everything from toning down your ethnicity, to not laughing loudly or cussing, or telling your boss/coworker/the secretary that they're dorks.

Stifling your personality for years and years and years in your waking hours takes a toll on one, ya know? Having a bad marriage or living with folks where you have to tippy toe around them on eggshells to minimize conflict compounds this.

I've seen so many people get lost in their own identity from spending years trying to simply get along and get paid.

Loved the other questions too, but if I commented on them all it would be a post. Take care, Kit

[GC]

damn
send me to therapy with those questions
I'll have to look at those later
but I like how you broke down the resolutions
this post is classic

[frugal zeitgeist]

Fantastic post and wonderful questions. I like how you don't shy away from the difficult stuff.

[Hawa]

@Kit: Yes yes yes, Kit. It's one thing to walk around "pretending" for the sake of it, and it's another thing so self-monitor to "get along and get paid." I agree with you wholeheartedly that our jobs consume so much of our lives, and it's the primary place you can't just "be yourself."

I will certainly quote this comment you left when I reach that question on the list. Thanks for stopping by!

@GC: I'm telling ya', these questions really expanding the power of 'free therapy through blogging.' hehe

@Frugal Z: I'm glad you made it over to see my shot-out to your S.M.A.R.T. advice. Many eons ago, I think I tended to shy away from the difficult stuff, but I learned that it just comes back with a vengeance later. hehe Have a Merry Christmas with all of your loved ones, including New York Mom and Dad!

[chele]

Merry Christmas!

[Debo Blue]

Yeah, this is a GREAT post and I'm really thinking 'bout them questions. Kit's comment was right on too.

[blujewel]

you really got some things off here lady!

everyday is a call for a resolution. too bad many people don't know, recognize, or understand that.

there is newness everyday and every moment of the day and it's how we receive the opportunity to live that counts.

love to live; live to love!