And The Award Goes To...

... ME!... Snitchez!

Nikki and Blu gave me a nod as Certified Honest Blogger. And for that, I name them Blog Friends Monsters of the Week for forcing me to reveal 10 things about myself that may lead to public ridicule, finger pointing, and snickering.

Now I know that an award with "Honest" in the title looks great on the mantle of a blog called "Fackin Truth." But dangit, I have so much more fun telling the facking truth about other folks' mess. In fact, if it wasn't for McCain and Palin, I just might have been bored beyond measure for the past month... or not wasting perfectly good blog space... but who knows for sure?

Take a look at the Certified Honest Blogger Rules before you get all nosy and read my list:

Certified Honest Blogger Rules:

# When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

# Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

# Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog.’

# Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).

# List [if you can and or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself.

# And then, pass it on.

And now, 10 Honest Things About Hawa
That She May Be Sorry She Posted on the Dang INTERNET:

1. I didn’t lose my virginity until I went to college (University of Pittsburgh). My high school sweetheart, then a sophomore at Howard University, came to visit one weekend. I wasn’t impressed by the overall experience, but I eventually got over that in grand fashion.

2. Speaking of virginity, my mom forced me to go condom shopping before I left for college. I was an embarrassed virgin standing in the drug store wishing I could shrink into the shelf of Bengay. She asked for a salesperson in the condom section loud enough for me to actually melt into the shelf of Bengay.

3. Speaking of condoms, later in life I wish my mother had sent me to college with an expectation of remaining a virgin. Her opinion meant a lot to me, and I wanted to maintain. But once the opportunity arose, I looked at that box of condoms, shrugged my shoulders at the implied expectation and started down a road that too many folks drive too soon.

4. Speaking of driving down fertility road, I had my first son when I was 21.

5. Speaking of kids at 21, I had to leave college but transferred and finished at the age 25.

6. Speaking of graduating college, I started my career a month later. I’ve been in this career for just over 12 years.

7. Speaking of careers, I am the most senior employee at my job. My 10-year anniversary was August 10, 2008.

8. Speaking of anniversaries, my ex-husband left me just 5 days before our 4th wedding anniversary. That traumatic experience was unfortunately 3 years and 8 months too late. hehe

9. Speaking of trauma, I once received 2nd degree burns to my right wrist ala boiling soup. After removing the huge patch of blistered skin, the doctors feared I would heal with a scar or with a permanently bent wrist. God is good. There’s no evidence of that burn left.

10. Speaking of burning, my fiance and I have merciless fart battles. I'm talking send the kids to grandma 'cause it's getting treacherous in here. I became the champion on one particular evening after a well-timed meal of perfect composition. The green cloud hovered like a smoke bomb. He fanned and fanned but just couldn't escape. Cough. Dry heaves. Running to the porcelain throne. "Who's the champion? I asked. Gurgle...YOU ARE." Poor thing. "My job is done here. You betta recognize."

BONUS ITEM:

11. Speaking of fiancé, he’s the finest example that love can really have happy endings.

And now I nominate:

1. the field negro
2. Sagacious Hillbilly
3. Dirty Red
4. Brotha Buck
5. Porscha Carey
6. Ms. Confessions
7. Deacon Blue

Get it poppin!

Comments

[nikki indigo]

I HEART YOU. i really, REALLY do. EXCELLENT list. hehehe@u and your fiance. you two give me hope i can find a man who loves me deeply enough to appreciate my farts...or at the very least, battle to see who has the most lethal! :)

[Hawa]

@Nikki: I so heart your crazy ba'hind, too. I don't feel whole when your new posts take too long. There's something special that can't be replaced when it comes to getting my fix of an indigo trail of your thoughts. hehe

And by the way, Blu is a major reason I am with the fiance. She talked me through all the moments of panic that I'd actually met somebody and just waited for the other shoe to fall. For frickin' once, there is no other shoe.

[Buck]

Thanks!

[kathy]

More on the fart wars!!

I used to work in a small college drug store, my favorite was when a guy would come in asking for condoms, and I would say, "OK what size?" and it never failed to confuse them.

[Deacon Blue]

Thanks, Hawa, for the love.

And now I know your kryptonite: Slip some Beano in your water before throwing down with you in a debate, discussion or argument.

Not that I think I have any reason to fight with ya...just always good to have and edge just in case something goes wrong.

;-)

[internet philippines]

I find it a little bit funny, strong and captivating at the same time to have your 10"s revealed because friends like you and they don't really intentionally make you do that.

You must be really good at it that's why they made you...

[Hawa]

@Buck: No problem. Now get writing! LOL

@kathy: You're just the kind of quirky strange that I like. hehe

@Deacon Blue: I loved your list... I left a comment at your blog. And the Beano comment... I think you just gave me the edge at home!

@Internet Philippines: Welcome to Fackin Truth! I'm either really good at it or my friends are hopelessly nosy. hehe I love 'em all.

[Believer 1964]

I enjoyed how each truth was a lead into the next. Brilliant! Kept me wanting more.

ROFL! Fart battles?! I had to read that twice. You're a true competitor—in it for the win!

@Believer I thank you very much. :-) While in draft mode, my thought pattern kept building on itself, so it was a natural progression to have my truths lead into one another. I added a "bonus #11," but I probably could have gone on for hours - especially if I started with some random truth from my childhood. hehe