Fackin Truth Blog

An Anonymous Blog Coming to a Computer Near You

I vomit a little in my mouth every time somebody paints a glossy fantasy of "the perfect relationship." Most of those stories reek rise from the pages of lame romance novels and ignore the true work required to live "the love of your life."

In fact, outside the realm of arranged marriages by the age of 12, the Great American Love Story features two flawed (and sometimes broken) people hanging on to a thread of hope that the dream of a soulmate actually exists. For hearts further marred by greed, betrayal, and The Jerry Springer Show, choosing to love and commit remains a leap of faith that even an atheist can appreciate.

In this age of maintaining "appearances," people will walk across 10-lanes of busy highway traffic. Naked. On a bed of glass. Or do any number of stupid pet tricks to hide the truth about anything from real age to actual salary. Those same folks offer canned answers to explain their perfect marriages. Oh yeah, we schedule date nights. Oh yeah, we never fight." One day you pull back the curtains and find the wife in the basement with her boyfriend and the husband upstairs with his boyfriend.

What happened? The formula failed? Or did somebody fail to mention that the bogus formula doesn't exist?

I remember all the times my mother attempted to offer advice, and started with, "Well my life wasn't perfect," or "I didn't always make the right decisions." So many times, I wished she would share the reason why her life wasn't perfect, or what decisions she wished she could "do over." That's where real life resides... inside the details of what went wrong. That kind of education is priceless, and only available when the curriculum is Radical Honesty. So my fiance and I decided to start an anonymous blog, detailing the source of our brokenness and revealing the work it takes for us to live the imperfect relationship made perfect by love.

And of course, that's the last you'll hear of it here, because anonymous means you won't be able to trace the blog back to our typing fingers. If you happen to find your way there, we hope you enjoy the roller coaster ride. And oh yeah, the content won't be suitable for anybody under the age of 18. You'll have to keep getting the "edited" version of life in our crazy zoo here, understand?

Wordless Wednesday Tuesday: It's a Wrap

The Name Game

I stole this idea from La Bella Noire since I'm at a loss for a new post today. There are too many things going on on politics for me to pick just one, so I'm on Blog Post Choice Overload. Here goes my Name Game fun:

1.Your rock star name (first pet, current car):
Buttons Odyssey

2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe):
Egg Nog Strappy Heels
Something like Chocolate Timberland would have sounded soooooo much better here. 

3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal):
Black Dog

4.Your soap opera name (your middle name, city where you were born):
Keita Atlantic

5.Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name):
Bonha

6.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
Blue Water

7.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers):
Buck Russell
Hehe. I like that one.

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy):
Miracle Milk Chocolate
Dang. I bet there's a dancer jumping off a pole somewhere ready to grit on me for stealing her name.

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter):
Previtti Philadelphia

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower):
Christmas Sunflower (or Spring Rose)

11.Cartoon name (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now):
Apple Sweat Suit or Strawberry Hoodie

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree):
Air Sandwich Willow

13.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived):
Buttons Hamilton

Am I not listening or are you not making any sense (to me)?

My immediate supervisor has an interesting habit. She values my opinion and often calls me with ideas or as a sounding board. Sometimes I'm not sure if she really values my opinion or if she just wants somebody to blame if things go wrong. On any given day, I could probably flip a coin on this one.

"Well she agreed with it. She thought it was a great idea. I would have never done it if she hadn't told me to"...

...Which would really reflect negatively on her since she's the one in friggin charge. Anyway, today she called me about an email she drafted to her managers. In summary, the goal of the email is to ensure that another person, (read: an old coworker who she doesn't particularly like), gets ratted out for helping on a project that he no longer works on. His continued involvement would make him a small part of our work lives for the next 2 months.

Here are a few background notes to help establish some relationships: As a contractor, my "supervisor" really only supervises me. In terms of her organization, she isn't recognized as somebody with any real weight to throw around. And the person she's targeting isn't some old subordinate who's wet behind the ears. In fact, he has some pull. He's known and respected. Did I mention that the target is also somebody I've liked and worked well with for years?  But I digress...

After reading the email to me, she asked, "Do you think this will piss anybody off???"

Well, it's impossible for me to answer that question, and here's why.

I went on some long short-winded explanation of back-door-deals, how employees sometimes reach out for information from other employees, and how I have made and received calls to do the same.(Note to self: Being resourceful is a bad bad thing). In other words, you're not always gonna know or like where employees get their information. Be happy so long as their stuff is right, delivered on time, no crime was committed, no rules were bent beyond breaking point, and no animals/babies were harmed during the collection of said information. All of this was leading to a warning that the managers themselves may not care as much as she wants them to and may not react according to her sinister plan. Even from the view down here, her concern reads more like a personal problem than anything.

But then came her predictable script when I don't necessarily agree with her point. I swear she pulls this out of her a** without fail anytime she suspects I might not agree with her after SHE asks ME for some d*mned advice:

"Well you're not listening."

In her world, I am only listening to her if I agree with her 100%. It never occurs to her that (1) she may not be explaining her position very well, (2) I have my own mind that doesn't ask permission to express an original thought, or (3) I just might not be the person to call if her goal is to enlist a "YES MAN" for her personal agenda.

End rant. I'm out.

Trust and the Economy

Although I get all excited about dropping my own truth here at Fackin Truth, I can't help but get a little giddy when somebody else publishes a great thought-provoking point. And I'm all about re-posting the best pieces, right here, for your reading pleasure.

Over and over again, the media features economic analysis that eventually cites "consumer trust" as a major contributor to the current financial crisis. In other words, weeze folks don't expect things to get better, so we're not spending as much money or trusting banks to protect the little money we already have. Since our economy is based on spending, and success is measured by the viral spread of Affluenza, our current desire to save money (and inability/lack of desire to borrow) just perpetuates the problem.

Well over at Robert Reich's spot, a commenter named "consultant" broke down the issue of trust as follows:

= = = = = = = = = = = =

When are we we going to start to see serious numbers of people charged and arrested for wire fraud, conspiracy, etc.? Trust will not return to the markets until people are assured that those who cheated them are in jail, or, no longer work in the financial sector. And folks, that is a lot of people!

Let me again quickly run down the list of those eligible for arrest:

Real estate agents and brokers (please arrest some of them; I won't mention names). They colluded to increase the price of homes to get fatter commissions; appraisers who said homes were worth more than they actually were; city and county bureaucrats who knew property appraisals were coming in too high but loved the increasing property tax revenues;

mortgage brokers and companies who offered liar loans (no documentation) and changed loan conditions at closing;

regular banks who started doing what mortgage companies did when they saw all the money being made;

Fannie & Freddie officials who bought all of the phony and unsupportable mortgage paper, knowing most of it was toxic;

Ditto for Wall St. banks, who sliced it up (securitized) into little pieces and sold them off to investors around the world;

Ditto for the insurance companies (i.e. AIG) who rated these investments AAA!;

Federal government-idiots, bought and paid for-most of them need to go to jail.

As you can see, since most of the financial and legislative system is criminally corrupt, no one of consequence is going to jail. Which means trust will not be restored anytime soon.

[All silly emphasis and bold formatting added by me for effect... just to get you all fired-up about something you're not likely able to change. Take that with your Tums.]

= = = = = = = = = = = =

Buy that man a drink. Does any of consultant's comment ring true in your heart? If the same crooks are left to steward over the bailout money, how confident do you feel?

Thanks to the Frugal Zeitgeist for hipping me to a new term in "Affluenza and the new economy."

What is Sexy??

I was home sick today. After surviving 2 weeks of the flu, I end with a bang sporting a sinus infection, lost voice, and upset stomach from the sinus drain.

But I'm surrounded with a flurry of sexy activity as my man happens to be doing all of the following at one time:

:: Slow cooking beef stew in the crock pot.

:: Washing and drying loads of clothes.

:: Steam cleaning the upstairs and downstairs carpets since The Puppy completed Potty Training 101.

:: Making sure the kids get fed with beef stew-covered rice.

:: Preparing my tea with Rock and Rye to breakup the phlegm left in my face, chest, and stomach.

Now isn't that sexy?

Nevermind. I must be delirious. I guess the sexy just comes from him doing all of that with his shirt off - looking like hot butter on a homemade Southern biscuit.

I'm going back to bed.

Edited to Add: After reading this post, Butter on a Biscuit declared that I look exactly like the sick green dude holding the tea cup in the picture. "Well, he should have curly hair, 'cause at least your hair looks nice today."

I'm thinking I should break his ankles before I slip back under the covers. But then again, who would get my tea for me?

Wordless Wednesday Thursday: Mothers' Day 2007

What Kind of Man Can't Shake a Competitor's Hand?

Obama and McCain faced-off in their second debate last night. For the most part, the debate was a sleeper. But today's buzz centers around some key points that speak to the character and integrity of the candidates:

1. McCain never looked Obama in the eye or addressed him with any respect.

2. McCain never looked the Blacks in the Town Hall audience in the eye or addressed their questions with the same care and attention as the Whites.

3. And even if those views might, just might, be a matter of perception, how about... In a major blunder that blares like neon lights, McCain called Obama "That One" during the debate. I do believe Obama called McCain either "John" or "Senator McCain" the entire night.

4. Obama and the Mrs. stayed to talk to the Town Hall audience. McCain and the Mrs. ran from the building like the place was on fire.

5. And finally... the handshake. That d*mned handshake. The handshake that never happened. McCain tapped Obama on the back as he ran away, and refused to shake Obama's hand. [see video evidence Exhibit A below]

So even if you agree with McCain on the issues (which I don't), how do you reconcile his character and integrity when choosing him? I mean, I have even gotten into the push-polling and election day scare tactics. I haven't even gotten to the "kill Obama" sentiments screamed at the Palin rallies that Palin hasn't taken time to address. The Republican ticket is a Hot. Mess. I'm curious to hear from McCain/Palin supporters, because I just don't get it.

Join Fackin Truth in Giving to Classroom Projects in High-Poverty Schools

My mother dedicated 36 years to educating children in the public school system. At her retirement, a beautiful young college woman came and performed an interpretive dance. My mom was her 5th grade teacher. I witness how my mother's former students, many older than I, still run up and gush over my mom as "their favorite teacher." I know how teachers, including my mom, impacted my life.

DonorsChoose offers individual donors the opportunity to give towards education across the country. The tax-deductible gifts go straight to specific classroom project needs. Small gifts are welcomed, and some giving is matched by other philanthropists.

I invite you to my giving page, where I selected school projects (in high-poverty areas) to support. I set up my page under the "Black Bloggers for Education" group representing the AfroSpear. All of my giving is in honor of my mother.

Just click "Fackin Truth Blog Friends" in the widget below to visit DonorsChoose and give through the Fackin Truth blog drive.

And The Award Goes To...

... ME!... Snitchez!

Nikki and Blu gave me a nod as Certified Honest Blogger. And for that, I name them Blog Friends Monsters of the Week for forcing me to reveal 10 things about myself that may lead to public ridicule, finger pointing, and snickering.

Now I know that an award with "Honest" in the title looks great on the mantle of a blog called "Fackin Truth." But dangit, I have so much more fun telling the facking truth about other folks' mess. In fact, if it wasn't for McCain and Palin, I just might have been bored beyond measure for the past month... or not wasting perfectly good blog space... but who knows for sure?

Take a look at the Certified Honest Blogger Rules before you get all nosy and read my list:

Certified Honest Blogger Rules:

# When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

# Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

# Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog.’

# Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).

# List [if you can and or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself.

# And then, pass it on.

And now, 10 Honest Things About Hawa
That She May Be Sorry She Posted on the Dang INTERNET:

1. I didn’t lose my virginity until I went to college (University of Pittsburgh). My high school sweetheart, then a sophomore at Howard University, came to visit one weekend. I wasn’t impressed by the overall experience, but I eventually got over that in grand fashion.

2. Speaking of virginity, my mom forced me to go condom shopping before I left for college. I was an embarrassed virgin standing in the drug store wishing I could shrink into the shelf of Bengay. She asked for a salesperson in the condom section loud enough for me to actually melt into the shelf of Bengay.

3. Speaking of condoms, later in life I wish my mother had sent me to college with an expectation of remaining a virgin. Her opinion meant a lot to me, and I wanted to maintain. But once the opportunity arose, I looked at that box of condoms, shrugged my shoulders at the implied expectation and started down a road that too many folks drive too soon.

4. Speaking of driving down fertility road, I had my first son when I was 21.

5. Speaking of kids at 21, I had to leave college but transferred and finished at the age 25.

6. Speaking of graduating college, I started my career a month later. I’ve been in this career for just over 12 years.

7. Speaking of careers, I am the most senior employee at my job. My 10-year anniversary was August 10, 2008.

8. Speaking of anniversaries, my ex-husband left me just 5 days before our 4th wedding anniversary. That traumatic experience was unfortunately 3 years and 8 months too late. hehe

9. Speaking of trauma, I once received 2nd degree burns to my right wrist ala boiling soup. After removing the huge patch of blistered skin, the doctors feared I would heal with a scar or with a permanently bent wrist. God is good. There’s no evidence of that burn left.

10. Speaking of burning, my fiance and I have merciless fart battles. I'm talking send the kids to grandma 'cause it's getting treacherous in here. I became the champion on one particular evening after a well-timed meal of perfect composition. The green cloud hovered like a smoke bomb. He fanned and fanned but just couldn't escape. Cough. Dry heaves. Running to the porcelain throne. "Who's the champion? I asked. Gurgle...YOU ARE." Poor thing. "My job is done here. You betta recognize."

BONUS ITEM:

11. Speaking of fiancé, he’s the finest example that love can really have happy endings.

And now I nominate:

1. the field negro
2. Sagacious Hillbilly
3. Dirty Red
4. Brotha Buck
5. Porscha Carey
6. Ms. Confessions
7. Deacon Blue

Get it poppin!