No, I'm not talking about the eight years Departing President DipSchnit spent in office. I'm talking about the California woman who just made history as the second woman on record to deliver octuplets who all survived more than a few hours. That's eight babies worth of swollen ankles and morning sickness.
When this story first hit the news and the proud doctors boasted about their delivery room prowess, I thought we were on our way to a feel-good story on the miracle of birth. But then the details started to leak, and we discovered that this 33-year old single mother already had 6 children at home. All under age 8. AGE 8. Those 6 children were the result of using a sperm donor. AND ALL EIGHT NEWBORNS CAME AFTER 8 EMBRYOS WERE IMPLANTED DURING FERTILITY TREATMENT. From the same sperm donor.
I'm flabbergasted. Seriously. A young single mother, living in a 3 bedroom home with her parents, now has 14 children all under age 8. On purpose nonetheless.
As Americans, we simply adore the miracle of birth. We oooh. We aaaaah. And we make disgustingly silly noises when in the presence of those tiny miracles. But an elderly neighbor of Ms. Octuplet went on camera with a myth-busting opinion of this birth. After giving a blank stare peppered with disgust, she asked the million-dollar question. What? And I'm supposed to be excited? She went on to note how the home is already flooded with young children, and questioned the mother's decision to have more, without a husband, and in an economy like this.
I have my own personal objections about this Miracle
Hot Mess Birth, and I honestly felt guilty for throwing such judgment onto a perfect stranger. So allow me to let other parties criticize for me.
:: Economists estimate that it will cost $2.5M to raise the children.
:: News reports indicate that the father will travel to Iraq to work on contracts to help pay for the cost of raising the children. Edited to add: It's the woman's father who will go to work to support his grandchildren.
:: Interviews with medical specialists indicate that implanting eight embryos is borderline malpractice for a fertility specialist, and the norm is one to three.
:: Some of those medical interviews hinted towards the possibility of mental illness that should have been investigated by other treating physicians before allowing this woman to become the single mother of fourteen children. (Isn't that really a nice way to say "Dat Chick Cray-zee?")
From a logistical perspective, childcare costs alone could hinder employment and I suspect this woman will qualify for welfare services. Thankfully, our warped craving for bizarre news has resulted in her getting calls to buy her story, and some of those offers are in the millions.
So tell me, where has your mind wandered while watching this news story unfold? Hit me in the comments.